Blind Loyalty

So guess who was shocked to see Alisson walk out and play for Brazil in World Cup 2026 😊

I’ll give you a hint…..it’s the Liverpool supporter writing this blog 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ 

YES, it’s ridiculous I didn’t know that - especially since I've supported them since I was 7. (Yes! I'm aware he hasn’t been playing for them since then 😂) Clearly I didn't pay enough attention at the previous world cup 👀 but I know now, so yaaaaaaaaaay me 😂

 You may have also surmised, that I started writing this post when WC2026 started and am only just getting around to finishing it now. That's because A) I'm trying to pace my life and B) I was highly invested in watching the lead up to Argentina getting their arses whooped in the Final 😄😄😄 Gracias Espania

Congratulations to the England team for the 3rd place medal...you boys did us proud 💖 Thank you again to Spain for putting the trophy in the hands of deserving winners 😊😊😊

So what have I learnt since I last wrote…..

Well I’ve become painstakingly aware that 35 degree heat in London, makes me even surer I will not do well in Hell 🥵 London has experienced 2 heatwaves, to date, that have rivaled the heat I felt in the Maldives & Texas combined. Historical temperatures for what is shaping up to be a  historical year 🙄 

Another hard lesson I've had to learn is that as much as loyalty is a great trait to have (In fact I'm an advocate for it) It MUST be reciprocated! 

💥Blind Loyalty creates Blind Spots💥 

Just because you’ve been loyal to someone, it doesn’t mean you’re bound to that agreement until the end of time, should they stop holding up their end. If, like me, you've learned to be blindly loyal at an early age......................... do WHATEVER you can to unlearn that!!

      💗We have to learn to stop rooting ourselves in places we were never even meant to be planted!💗 

And yes.....it can be hard to remove ourselves from roles we've always played. My experience is teaching me that a big part of that comes from 'The Guilt'. The guilt you feel when you start choosing yourself. The guilt you feel when you start taking up space in your own life. The guilt you feel when you start saying NO to things, that you would have said yes to, out of guilt. Learning to choose yourself, whilst risking losing anyone that gets upset by that choice, can feel like the one of the hardest adjustments in the world to make. Especially when your lack of self love has led you to seek the approval and validation from everyone but yourself. 

 However, once you make the decision (like I did on the 1st Jan 2026) to firmly plant yourself at the top of your priority list, the first thing you begin to realise is, how much happier you feel within and with your own life. Then once you start to see how many people begin to drop off the radar once you've made that choice, you start seeing who was really there for you and who was only around to benefit from you being a people pleaser. Once you start to see that, the guilt starts to fade. Once you see, how far people pull will back when you start to withdraw your energy from them, you cant un-see it. And that new 20/20 vision paves the way to what comes next. Learning to choose yourself peacefully and confidently. Some of us were born knowing how to do that. Some of us, will have to unlearn old habits to get there. Cest la vie.

Experience has taught me, that one of the reasons we struggle with going guilt-free, is because of the  fear, that if we stop choosing people over ourselves….they will leave us. Leaving behind a space that insecurities quickly fill up in their absence. Insecurities like “See, nobody loves you”  So we hold on to them tighter and sacrifice more of ourselves to keep them.

  "Why Stay Around These Types of People  You Ask?"

There are many reasons why people have stayed in dynamics that do not serve them. For today I’d like to offer up, lack of self love, fear of abandonment and people pleasing.  If you’re wondering if I've struggled with any of these….I’m 3 for 3. If you’re wondering if I feel ashamed to admit that…..I  DON'T 😁 These 3 reasons have seen me be blindly loyal to people that didn’t deserve a second of my time, let alone how much they got. And yes….that's on me! 

Which is why I'm currently pouring A LOT of my energy into no longer doing that. 

One of my most enlightening and ongoing lessons….is that you never really know someone….until you have to tell them NO🚫 Once you start wearing those two letters like a Suit of Armour to protect you from things you don't want to do, it becomes as clear as water who is meant to have a seat at your table, and who is meant to be shown the door. Your real ones will either respond with “Thanks for the update, good for you 🥰” or “About time” 🙄 The only people who are going to throw a temper tantrum or want to argue with you about why you're wrong for no longer sacrificing yourself for their benefit, are people that have lost the ability to run rings around you to get what they want out of you and to those people I say...... 

"I hope someone takes all the labels off of your canned goods, steals only your forks and removes all the batteries out of your remote controls 😂" 

Letting go of people who reveal themselves to be manipulative, coercive, exploiter's should be an easy yellow brick road to take. However, as previously stated, fear or abandonment and people pleasing can make it feel more like climbing everest with an anchor tied to your feet.  I’m lucky enough to be moving into a space, where I’m loving myself enough to know, I should fear abandoning myself, more than I fear being abandoned by anyone else. And that pleasing myself first (get your mind out the gutter 😂or maybe not 😉) is something I will spend time, money and effort investing in. 

Putting me first has seen me lose a couple of people, I didn’t see coming 😞 Not gonna lie, that shit hurt. Having to face those realities almost  knocked me off path. Because the minute I began prioritizing myself, I began to see there were 3 categories of people you stand to lose from your life. 

1. The people you now WANT gone 

2. The people you want to keep around, but KNOW they have to go

3. The people you thought would never leave and their bags were packed  at your first NO

The first was relatively easy. The second, often comes with conflicting views about what to do and a vast array of emotions that can delay your decision making. The third, that's the one, that if you're not careful can break you.  The third group of people - the ones that when looking back, you realise you've never said no to, and in hindsight that's probably the only reason they've been in your life this long. But when you eventually start saying no, you'll begin to see how quickly some people switch up on you and that shift will take some getting used to.  As you have to unlearn everything you thought you knew about them, because in reality, none of it is real.  As someone that has experienced number 3 twice this year, the best advise I can give, is to get rid of everyone you cannot say NO to and everyone that is left, those are your people. Brace yourself - this one can be very uncomfortable, especially if you still have to be around them -  work, family or friendship groups. 

But once you realise who your people are not, you'll to start to see said people for who they truly are -  People that now need to exit stage left. Then once you start to release them and any thoughts or feelings you have towards them, you'll send them on their merry way with a packed lunch and best wishes. There may be some tears and calling them cunts, somewhere along that road.....but in the end its about getting to a place where your response to anything to do with them resembles the below

                                               

Over time, you'll become comfortable with the distance, at peace with their absence and happy that you no longer hurt over the loss of them. Because moving through life, knowing who should actually be sat at your table, is the blessing in itself. Adjusting people to their correct position in you life based on reciprocity, should be as important to you as your skin care routine. If you can figure that out, it will serve you long term. Not everyone is meant to get your best! Shit, MOST people aren't  meant to get your best and it’s more than okay to withdraw your best from anyone who no longer deserves it. We have no idea how long we are on this earth. Don't waste it by spending time with people who don't even like you.

💓GO WHERE YOU ARE LOVED💓

Find the people that love you and spend as much time with them as you can. There are too many beautiful things we miss when we keep energy vampires around us. So no more worrying why some people are the way they are or do the things they do. Simply be around people who you never have to ask that question of. 

So the moral of the story…..stop being afraid of telling people NO!!! Start standing 10 toes down on speaking up for yourself. NO MORE shrinking to be accommodating to others. If they cannot digest you as you are, then let them choke whilst you walk away. That's when the light will start to shine on who’s meant to be a part of your world. And who you’re meant to drop off a cliff without a parachute. 😂 Metaphorically speaking obviously .Y'all are not suing me, because someone took that literally 😆 You should always be the main character in your own life. And if you’re not there yet,  respect the journey. It takes time to get there 🥰❤️  All the steps are required. Some of you will need to purchase patience if you’re in short supply….you’ll need it for this one

So we'll leave the lessons there for this post and move on to the lighter portion of my renewed hobby. Lets start with quotes I've read that I liked 

                                 Uplifting Quote of the Week 

“Leave A Little Happiness Everywhere You Go” -  Rituals Gift Wrapping Service. 

                                                   Funny Quote of The Week 

"Life is like A Penis, Sometimes It Gets Hard, But It Won’t Stay That Way Forever" -  Someone on TikTok 

I’m going to go ahead throw in a book recommendation on this post. Technically...its an author recommendation - Shout out to Ms Ana Huang for her 'King of' Series. I've read all  6 books back to back. My favourite is number 5 - King of Envy….Mr Vuk Markovic 😍😍😍 Closely followed by King of Gluttony... Mr Sebastien Laurent 😏 (Sorry Dante, you've been demoted to 3rd place). 

Now, before anyone asks what types of books they are rather than just using Google….its a series of intertwined couples facing some well written adult problems. That's not a euphemism for sex, they actually experience some grade A problems. However yes, there are some rather sexy escapades in all 6 books 😈 For anyone that may feel the need to shame me over reading such literature….Please feel free to go ahead and suck a dick whilst I continue reading about it 😘

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank God for holding my hand whilst I grow out the traumatised girl into the healed woman. I know you're probably look down at me multiples times a day like...."This Kid 🙄" 😄but thank you for always staying with me 😌

I'd like to also take a minute to thank all of the men who have been jumping on social media to tell women....What we need to be doing in order to attract & keep you  and why our sole purpose in life is to make your existence easier..... for you.  Because you've so gracefully shone a blinding light on something we COULDN'T give a shit about 🤣 We've come to learn that some of your are only here as a result of your mothers unfortunate low self-esteem leading to her settling for your father and subsequently not choosing the day of your conception to swallow instead.

Should I caveat this by saying its not all men? Probably not, as the actual Top tier kings of this world know I'm not talking to them. Shout out to the all of the men that genuinely love us women, are protecting us at all costs and standing up to all the red pill choopidness that is drying up more vaginas than menopause💓

For anyone who loves chocolate orange as much as I do, Waitrose have been offering a taste explosion of a Belgian double chocolate and orange cookie - that actually made me question whether I should take up baking to be able to create something equally as tasty. The fact that if I try to buy them after 11am, they're more missing that Trumps common sense, should tell how great they are 😄

Anywho……

This seems like a great place tie up post number 2 🥰 So as always

Have a great day, remember you're a unicorn and don’t let anyone shit on your rainbow 💖