Blind Loyalty

So guess who was shocked to see Alisson walk out and play for Brazil in World Cup 2026 😊

I’ll give you a hint…..it’s the Liverpool supporter writing this blog 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ 

YES, it’s ridiculous I didn’t know that - especially since I've supported them since I was 7. (Yes! I'm aware he hasn’t been playing for them since then 😂) Clearly I didn't pay enough attention at the previous world cup 👀 but I know now, so yaaaaaaaaaay me 😂

 You may have also surmised, that I started writing this post when WC2026 started and am only just getting around to finishing it now. That's because A) I'm trying to pace my life and B) I was highly invested in watching the lead up to Argentina getting their arses whooped in the Final 😄😄😄 Gracias Espania

Congratulations to the England team for the 3rd place medal...you boys did us proud 💖 Thank you again to Spain for putting the trophy in the hands of deserving winners 😊😊😊

So what have I learnt since I last wrote…..

Well I’ve become painstakingly aware that 35 degree heat in London, makes me even surer I will not do well in Hell 🥵 London has experienced 2 heatwaves, to date, that have rivaled the heat I felt in the Maldives & Texas combined. Historical temperatures for what is shaping up to be a  historical year 🙄 

Another hard lesson I've had to learn is that as much as loyalty is a great trait to have (In fact I'm an advocate for it) It MUST be reciprocated! 

💥Blind Loyalty creates Blind Spots💥 

Just because you’ve been loyal to someone, it doesn’t mean you’re bound to that agreement until the end of time, should they stop holding up their end. If, like me, you've learned to be blindly loyal at an early age......................... do WHATEVER you can to unlearn that!!

      💗We have to learn to stop rooting ourselves in places we were never even meant to be planted!💗 

And yes.....it can be hard to remove ourselves from roles we've always played. My experience is teaching me that a big part of that comes from 'The Guilt'. The guilt you feel when you start choosing yourself. The guilt you feel when you start taking up space in your own life. The guilt you feel when you start saying NO to things, that you would have said yes to, out of guilt. Learning to choose yourself, whilst risking losing anyone that gets upset by that choice, can feel like the one of the hardest adjustments in the world to make. Especially when your lack of self love has led you to seek the approval and validation from everyone but yourself. 

 However, once you make the decision (like I did on the 1st Jan 2026) to firmly plant yourself at the top of your priority list, the first thing you begin to realise is, how much happier you feel within and with your own life. Then once you start to see how many people begin to drop off the radar once you've made that choice, you start seeing who was really there for you and who was only around to benefit from you being a people pleaser. Once you start to see that, the guilt starts to fade. Once you see, how far people pull will back when you start to withdraw your energy from them, you cant un-see it. And that new 20/20 vision paves the way to what comes next. Learning to choose yourself peacefully and confidently. Some of us were born knowing how to do that. Some of us, will have to unlearn old habits to get there. Cest la vie.

Experience has taught me, that one of the reasons we struggle with going guilt-free, is because of the  fear, that if we stop choosing people over ourselves….they will leave us. Leaving behind a space that insecurities quickly fill up in their absence. Insecurities like “See, nobody loves you”  So we hold on to them tighter and sacrifice more of ourselves to keep them.

  "Why Stay Around These Types of People  You Ask?"

There are many reasons why people have stayed in dynamics that do not serve them. For today I’d like to offer up, lack of self love, fear of abandonment and people pleasing.  If you’re wondering if I've struggled with any of these….I’m 3 for 3. If you’re wondering if I feel ashamed to admit that…..I  DON'T 😁 These 3 reasons have seen me be blindly loyal to people that didn’t deserve a second of my time, let alone how much they got. And yes….that's on me! 

Which is why I'm currently pouring A LOT of my energy into no longer doing that. 

One of my most enlightening and ongoing lessons….is that you never really know someone….until you have to tell them NO🚫 Once you start wearing those two letters like a Suit of Armour to protect you from things you don't want to do, it becomes as clear as water who is meant to have a seat at your table, and who is meant to be shown the door. Your real ones will either respond with “Thanks for the update, good for you 🥰” or “About time” 🙄 The only people who are going to throw a temper tantrum or want to argue with you about why you're wrong for no longer sacrificing yourself for their benefit, are people that have lost the ability to run rings around you to get what they want out of you and to those people I say...... 

"I hope someone takes all the labels off of your canned goods, steals only your forks and removes all the batteries out of your remote controls 😂" 

Letting go of people who reveal themselves to be manipulative, coercive, exploiter's should be an easy yellow brick road to take. However, as previously stated, fear or abandonment and people pleasing can make it feel more like climbing everest with an anchor tied to your feet.  I’m lucky enough to be moving into a space, where I’m loving myself enough to know, I should fear abandoning myself, more than I fear being abandoned by anyone else. And that pleasing myself first (get your mind out the gutter 😂or maybe not 😉) is something I will spend time, money and effort investing in. 

Putting me first has seen me lose a couple of people, I didn’t see coming 😞 Not gonna lie, that shit hurt. Having to face those realities almost  knocked me off path. Because the minute I began prioritizing myself, I began to see there were 3 categories of people you stand to lose from your life. 

1. The people you now WANT gone 

2. The people you want to keep around, but KNOW they have to go

3. The people you thought would never leave and their bags were packed  at your first NO

The first was relatively easy. The second, often comes with conflicting views about what to do and a vast array of emotions that can delay your decision making. The third, that's the one, that if you're not careful can break you.  The third group of people - the ones that when looking back, you realise you've never said no to, and in hindsight that's probably the only reason they've been in your life this long. But when you eventually start saying no, you'll begin to see how quickly some people switch up on you and that shift will take some getting used to.  As you have to unlearn everything you thought you knew about them, because in reality, none of it is real.  As someone that has experienced number 3 twice this year, the best advise I can give, is to get rid of everyone you cannot say NO to and everyone that is left, those are your people. Brace yourself - this one can be very uncomfortable, especially if you still have to be around them -  work, family or friendship groups. 

But once you realise who your people are not, you'll to start to see said people for who they truly are -  People that now need to exit stage left. Then once you start to release them and any thoughts or feelings you have towards them, you'll send them on their merry way with a packed lunch and best wishes. There may be some tears and calling them cunts, somewhere along that road.....but in the end its about getting to a place where your response to anything to do with them resembles the below

                                               

Over time, you'll become comfortable with the distance, at peace with their absence and happy that you no longer hurt over the loss of them. Because moving through life, knowing who should actually be sat at your table, is the blessing in itself. Adjusting people to their correct position in you life based on reciprocity, should be as important to you as your skin care routine. If you can figure that out, it will serve you long term. Not everyone is meant to get your best! Shit, MOST people aren't  meant to get your best and it’s more than okay to withdraw your best from anyone who no longer deserves it. We have no idea how long we are on this earth. Don't waste it by spending time with people who don't even like you.

💓GO WHERE YOU ARE LOVED💓

Find the people that love you and spend as much time with them as you can. There are too many beautiful things we miss when we keep energy vampires around us. So no more worrying why some people are the way they are or do the things they do. Simply be around people who you never have to ask that question of. 

So the moral of the story…..stop being afraid of telling people NO!!! Start standing 10 toes down on speaking up for yourself. NO MORE shrinking to be accommodating to others. If they cannot digest you as you are, then let them choke whilst you walk away. That's when the light will start to shine on who’s meant to be a part of your world. And who you’re meant to drop off a cliff without a parachute. 😂 Metaphorically speaking obviously .Y'all are not suing me, because someone took that literally 😆 You should always be the main character in your own life. And if you’re not there yet,  respect the journey. It takes time to get there 🥰❤️  All the steps are required. Some of you will need to purchase patience if you’re in short supply….you’ll need it for this one

So we'll leave the lessons there for this post and move on to the lighter portion of my renewed hobby. Lets start with quotes I've read that I liked 

                                 Uplifting Quote of the Week 

“Leave A Little Happiness Everywhere You Go” -  Rituals Gift Wrapping Service. 

                                                   Funny Quote of The Week 

"Life is like A Penis, Sometimes It Gets Hard, But It Won’t Stay That Way Forever" -  Someone on TikTok 

I’m going to go ahead throw in a book recommendation on this post. Technically...its an author recommendation - Shout out to Ms Ana Huang for her 'King of' Series. I've read all  6 books back to back. My favourite is number 5 - King of Envy….Mr Vuk Markovic 😍😍😍 Closely followed by King of Gluttony... Mr Sebastien Laurent 😏 (Sorry Dante, you've been demoted to 3rd place). 

Now, before anyone asks what types of books they are rather than just using Google….its a series of intertwined couples facing some well written adult problems. That's not a euphemism for sex, they actually experience some grade A problems. However yes, there are some rather sexy escapades in all 6 books 😈 For anyone that may feel the need to shame me over reading such literature….Please feel free to go ahead and suck a dick whilst I continue reading about it 😘

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank God for holding my hand whilst I grow out the traumatised girl into the healed woman. I know you're probably look down at me multiples times a day like...."This Kid 🙄" 😄but thank you for always staying with me 😌

I'd like to also take a minute to thank all of the men who have been jumping on social media to tell women....What we need to be doing in order to attract & keep you  and why our sole purpose in life is to make your existence easier..... for you.  Because you've so gracefully shone a blinding light on something we COULDN'T give a shit about 🤣 We've come to learn that some of your are only here as a result of your mothers unfortunate low self-esteem leading to her settling for your father and subsequently not choosing the day of your conception to swallow instead.

Should I caveat this by saying its not all men? Probably not, as the actual Top tier kings of this world know I'm not talking to them. Shout out to the all of the men that genuinely love us women, are protecting us at all costs and standing up to all the red pill choopidness that is drying up more vaginas than menopause💓

For anyone who loves chocolate orange as much as I do, Waitrose have been offering a taste explosion of a Belgian double chocolate and orange cookie - that actually made me question whether I should take up baking to be able to create something equally as tasty. The fact that if I try to buy them after 11am, they're more missing that Trumps common sense, should tell how great they are 😄

Anywho……

This seems like a great place tie up post number 2 🥰 So as always

Have a great day, remember you're a unicorn and don’t let anyone shit on your rainbow 💖

And Just Like That....................

She was back putting pen to paper 😌

As per the illustrious title of my previous blog.....I figured shit out.

Just kidding, of course I didn't 😂 In fact, I figured out there's more shit to be figured out.

When I started this journey,  I was under the illusion that at the end, I would get some kind of  "Mental Health Blue Peter Badge" because I did the homework (Digging into my issues) handed in my assignments (Did the self reflection and work) and sat all of my exams (faced past trauma's and present triggers). However, 6 years later allow me to burst the bubble and tell you.... THERE'S NO BADGE. That's right, not only is there no 'Blue Peter' badge for the roller-coaster of a journey, you put yourself through trying to become the best version of yourself. You get to do it all whilst experiencing the whirlwind of emotions that comes with that journey. With the added bonus of having a symbiotic relationship with the double nemesis's known as the mind fuck twins (Anxiety and Depression) 

Imagine waking up one day at the young age of 43 and realising, you've lived your whole life to date for EVERYBODY else. And that's not even the craziest part. The craziest part is, that until last year, I wasn't even aware I was doing it. However, being that we're in 2026 and the world is at its craziest, I'm not going to worry my beautiful little brain any further about that. God knows, I've done more than my fair share of  that throughout my life! So instead I've simply started living my life with me at the top of the  priority list and anyone  that benefits from that....good for you 😊 

And that Ladies & Gentlemen is your introduction to not only my new blog 😌 but my first blog post in 6 years ☺️ As I've been missing writing, I figured I'd find if I've still got it.

We're taught being selfish is a bad thing (and yes to a certain degree that's true). But if you're not selfish enough to put yourself first and protect your peace, your energy and yourself the world WILL take that as an invitation to take advantage of you. Learning that the hard way, has paved the way for me to start figuring some more shit out. Like one of the most important things I've learnt in the last half a decade…

          💖BOUNDARIES💖

Make Sure You Have Them and Do No Let Anyone Talk You Out Of Them!!! 

Boundaries are not created to keep people out. They're created to protect you. 

So what else has happened since I last wrote. Well,we've had a global pandemic (hopefully we're not about to have another one. Not today hantavirus, not today 🙄) COVID was something I didn't think I'd see in my lifetime and by that I mean a worldwide viral take down that started with a Bat Soup 🤦🏾‍♀️ I was lucky to not have a bad COVID experience, but it wasn't the same for everyone. A lot of people sadly lost their people 💝 Therefore, I'm sure I speak for many when I say  "Can we pleeeeeeeeeease avoid another one" Whilst we're at it, not going into WW3 would also be appreciated 👀 Just saying

After that the inevitable happened. I got into my first relationship in 10 years. Before you get too excited, leave the cork in the Champagne bottle, one is no longer in said relationship 😆 Why am I no longer in it?

Just like you shouldn't food shop when hungry, you shouldn't date out of loneliness. You'll accept anything put in front of you and as the Snickers adverts taught us "You're not yourself when You're hungry". Needless to say, the relationship didn't go well, nor did it end well leading to the subsequent breaking of me......Thankfully! Yes, you read that correctly. 

As I've come to learn, I needed to have my heart broken in order to take me to an emotional ground zero. Now, is emotional ground zero, the best place to visit.....185% NO. But you do not build a house from the 1st or 2nd floor. No, you start from the ground and work your way up. I needed my heart  broken, to fix my vision. It forced me to dig into the roots of why I was allowing myself to accept way less that Queen treatment. 

I'd like to tell you, this experience was all Unicorns and Rainbows, which it would have been if I were a unicorn or a rainbow.  But As I'm a human simply two-stepping around planet earth, it was about as smooth sailing as the Titanic's last moments. But needless to say, I've been doing my best, to lean into my inner Elsa and "Let It Go" (Yes, I still Love Frozen and will continue to quote it 😄) and (the "It" I'm referring to is control of how I thought things are meant to be) 

I've become aware that I learnt early on to suppress my feelings for the sake of others. Overtime, that developed into self abandonment. Like feeling sad and telling myself "You're at work, hold it in until you get home" or not letting my family and friends see me in tears so it didn't burden them. But that way of thinking has played a major part in me, putting my feelings to the side and abandoning my needs. Whereas now, when my tear ducts let me know they are no longer interested in holding in my unprocessed emotions, I let them out. And yes, that has meant that sometimes, randomly crying in public has become a thing I now do......and I'm okay with that. 

I'm aware that this way of handling life is not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. It's okay for you too choose how you process your emotions and what steps you take. Unless you choose serial killer shit of course 🙈 We're not about that life.

Now I acknowledge that some people may not agree with crying out your feelings or like that I am advocating for this type of self care but thankfully this is MY BLOG......soooooooooo 🖕🏾

And yes, I do still cry in private, especially when I can't be asked to explain why and that's also okay. 

Why have I just given you a play by play of my crying habits? Simple because it was one of the most important, first steps I took in putting MYSELF first. I stopped waiting for it to be convenient and started listening to my nervous system anytime it alerts me to the fact that my eyeballs are about to rain down my cheeks. My default is still to stop myself, but I'm learning to lean into it more and more each day. I've found a big part of the solution is one of the most irritating sentences to hear, but one of the truest ones I've heard to date....."Give It Time"

Time has helped me to step gracefully but warily into my "Peace Over Everything" Era, because it has come to my attention that peace is one of the most expensive things, we possess. Its so expensive, that giving it away willingly, could cost you your whole life to get it back. Which is why "No" has not only become one of my favorite words, but its been elevated to full sentence.

Example: "Would you like to go here?" or  "Do you want to do this?  

"NO" 

If my mind says no, My body doesn't go 😉

The people pleaser that I grew into from shrinking to fit in, agreed to any and everything to ensure everyone one else was always happy and taken care of. The Selfish Queen that has been birthed from Boundaries, couldn't give 2 fucks, let alone one, about putting my needs first. Because boundaries, are the gift that keeps on giving.

Any who......now that I've covered some of the more painful experiences, let me shine a light on some of the happier ones🤩

1)  The Maldives 

Best Holiday to Date. If you ever get the chance to go, DO IT! You wont regret it.  Also, if  you get the chance to fly Emirates Business Class - do that too. Its an experience I'm elated I was able to partake in. Lying down on a flight is absolutely one of my happiest places. Travel as much as you can in life luvlies.                  

  

2) Blonde Bombshell 

They say break-ups bring about change and now that I've changed my hair colour from red to blonde, I guess I've fallen into that cliche. In my defence, I look even hotter as a blonde than I did as a red head, so there's that😉    

3) Plant Mama

It started with one.......My Darling Maureen 😍(A Succulent) who honestly, I'm surprised I managed to keep alive a whole year. But at 20 months,  she is growing and thriving. 

Then there's Bae & Lee (The Twins) I thought they were 1 plant until they started growing in different directions  - hence the split name. 

Then there's Deidre (The rubber plant) who's taking over the entire desk, now that she happily re-potted in a self watering pot.

Alice - The spider plant who is warden of the mantelpiece. 

Leslie, Anna and Mia (The Girl Triplets) and the baby of the family (because he was purchased most recently)  Edward. 

The irony of me having a plant family, is that I never saw the point in flowers, as they died, so plants were an after thought at best. But thats just proof things change.....which brings me to point number 4

4) God

Anyone that really knows me, knows that walking with God has NOT previously been a part of my life and if I'm being honest, a part of me felt by telling the world, that I now walk with god by my side, I would need to justify that change. BUT I DONT! AND I WONT! Walking with God, having random convo's with him, praying and reading the bible have all become a part of a type of peace I have never felt. My journey with God is mine. I'm not telling anyone else what to do or how to move when its comes to God. Just like I wont be explaining any further on why I have chosen to walk with him. He's added value to my life and that's all you need to know ☺️

5) Scrabble

Who would have thought the digital version of a childhood spelling game, would turn into one of my favourite adult hobbies. I've currently got 20 games on the go and I'm loving it

6) Friends

I'm lucky enough to have both and male and female friends that I can turn to. The last few years would have been horrific without the amazing Kings and Queens that have stood by me. 

So.......Shout out to My Sisters - Little Chan Chan & Baby Shark ❤️ My Ducky 💗  My Garage Girls 💖 My Ladies 💝 and My Rooley Pooley 💗 for drying my tears, reminding me to smile, making me belly laugh and holding space with no judgement. Our continuous face-times, lunches and dinners serve as a reminder of how grateful I am to have such Queens in my corner. Thank you for being your legendary selves 💓

And let me not forget The Kings that have made a point of reminding me what great men are truly capable of. Thank you for showing up with kindness and emotional safety. For holding space for me. For so easily showing me princess treatment that you've raised my standards through the roof for anyone that wants to date me. You give me hope that there are still GREAT men out there and not just boys in male bodies. So shout out to Baaaah 💕 & Brody 💕 Thank you for being great men  ❤️

Well this seems like a pretty good place to end my first post,  but as always.....

Have a great day, remember you're a unicorn and don't let anyone shit on your rainbow 💝